


99 Love-balloons

by megyal



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Gift Fic, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-06-27
Updated: 2008-06-27
Packaged: 2017-10-23 06:10:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/247079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megyal/pseuds/megyal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are some Muggle things that Draco just won't get immediately.</p>
            </blockquote>





	99 Love-balloons

**Author's Note:**

> Belated birthday ficlet for [](http://bewarethesmirk.livejournal.com/profile)[**bewarethesmirk**](http://bewarethesmirk.livejournal.com/). Happy unbirthday to you!  
> 

Harry lay in bed and laughed. He held his side and let out peals of laughter, feeling his ribs flex almost painfully with every amused heave of his lungs. _If I don't stop now_ , he thought wildly, _I'll break one of them_. He struggled to control his mirth, partly because he was going to _die_ if he didn't, and partly because Draco would probably kill him if he went on much longer. Draco was standing at the doorway, his expression thunderous as he watched Harry weakly brush away the tears from his eyes.

"Done?" he asked in a crisp voice. Harry nodded, took another look at what Draco held in his hands, and then went off again. Draco slammed the tray and its contents down on the tall chest-of-drawers positioned near their bedroom door, threw Harry a glare that would probably freeze his hair from his head if it had any magical power behind it, and then stalked back out.

"Wait!" Harry scrambled out of bed, choking back the laughter. A wide chasm of hurt had been behind the surface of Draco's furious glare. Harry wasn't exactly laughing _at_ him (okay, he _had_ been), but it would be best to explain why he was laughing after all. "Draco, wait."

"I get up early for your sodding birthday," Draco said tightly as he stood in the middle of the kitchen, flicking spells at the mess he had left behind, "and I _slave_ over a sumptuous breakfast like a good little house-elf, and take a good long look at me, Harry, I'm too tall and far too Malfoy to be a house-elf--"

"Of course, of course," Harry murmured soothingly, trying to sidle closer so that he could put an arm around the other man, but Draco whirled around and flung a spell over his shoulder. The mop danced out of the narrow cupboard near the kitchen door and started on its duties with sodden relish. Harry leapt out of the way as it mopped over his bare toes.

"--and I spend hours blowing up your stupid balloons for you... the _Muggle_ way, you arse! I did it the Muggle way, and my lips taste all funny now and you _laughed_." His eyes were grey slits by this time and Harry felt a little ashamed. "I mean, they were hard enough getting out of those little silvery packets, but I did it and I did it for you, and you _laughed_. That's your idea of gratitude, I suppose, I should have known better, you're a _Gryffindor_ and Pansy always told me, 'You be careful, Draco Malfoy, those lions, they'll take your snakey little heart and twist it all into--'"

"I'm sorry," Harry said immediately, and Draco blinked at him. His eyes took on a suspicious sheen, as if he thought Harry was just saying this to shut him up.

"Are you," he replied flatly, watching Harry's careful approach. Harry nodded and stepped even closer, just barely avoiding the mop as it swirled around them.

Harry nodded, tilting his head just a little to look right into Draco's eyes. "I'm really grateful, I am. It's so brilliant that you got up and did that for me, thank you. It's just that... where'd you find those balloons? In a box under the desk?"

Draco's pale brows drew together, still suspicious. "Yes. And?"

"Draco, you remember that I teach Squibs, right? And that I have quite a few of them for summer sessions?"

Draco sniffed disdainfully, but he gave a quick nod. He rather thought Harry's job was beneath the two of them, but Harry liked it and Draco had said as long as Harry was happy, he was fine. And he was... mostly.

"Well... sometimes I have a class called Sexual Health. And... I have to show them Muggle condoms, and maybe distribute them. Most parents hate it, but I'm guessing that if they're having sex, and they are, believe me on that, then at least they can be protected."

Draco stared down at him for a long while, still not understanding. Harry sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

"Um. What you thought were balloons... they were Muggle condoms."

Draco gasped and gagged. "What?! Oh Merlin, _what_? Why would you keep them _right under_ your desk? Ugghh," and he rubbed at his lips so furiously that they went red. "Oh, oh no, don't tell me a Muggle penis has already been in those. Tell me it isn't so, you heartless, _heartless_ man."

Harry tried not to laugh again and failed. "Draco, they only use them but once, and these were in the packets, so they were new. Didn't you listen to me that one time, when I was telling you about them?"

"Of course I did!" Draco defended, but he looked shifty. Harry folded his lips in and his shoulders shook. Draco's expression looked as if he was torn between getting angrily hurt again and being amused with Harry. After a while, he relaxed, bracing his hip against the counter as he folded his long, pale arms. "Alright, so I didn't. You can't explain Muggle things to me when we're in bed, you know that. You can stop laughing now." His lips twitched as Harry continued to chuckle, his eyes warming. "Stop laughing."

"I just..." Harry swallowed hard, his eyes dancing with mirth. "I just have this image of you, blowing up all those condoms!"

Draco eyed him as he placed his hand over his mouth and choked on more laughter. "I'll have you know, Harry Potter, that I have an _amazing_ lung capacity. It took me only twenty minutes to do a whole bunch of them... and then I had to set them to floating with a spell and stick them to the tray. Wasn't as easy as you might think, you know."

"Thanks," Harry said softly, or as soft as he could whilst still chuckling. He leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to Draco's smirking mouth, and making a wry face. "You do taste funny. Condom-mouth."

"Don't you dare," Draco threatened, but he smiled, cupping Harry's face and urging him close for another kiss, not that Harry needed much urging.

"Do you want to see how Muggles use them?" Harry asked slyly, slinging his bare arms around Draco's neck, arching his back so that his nearly nude body was pressed flushed against Draco's, from chest to crotch. He grinned as he ground against Draco, who looked at him with a half-glazed, half-stern expression even as he put his arms around Harry's back and squeezed him tightly.

"Fine," he said, "but _you'll_ be the one doing all the blowing."

 _fin_

**Author's Note:**

> [](http://bewarethesmirk.livejournal.com/profile)[ **bewarethesmirk**](http://bewarethesmirk.livejournal.com/) 's prompt was 'condoms'. =]


End file.
